On Love And The Fractured Man.
On Love And The Fractured Man.
(A reflection on love and the human condition, by Sal Godoij.)
When we are born, we are born fractured, with some missing parts. That's why we love. Love doesn't make us lovers. What life makes of us is selfish forager creatures seeking the food that will make us happier; food for our souls that will make us feel satisfied, complete. So, that's why we hunt for love, to find the scattered pieces of ourselves in the mirrors of others. We love to complete ourselves. It's our metamorphosis, however, not always with the beautiful results we see in nature, like with the butterflies.
Because if you cannot find love throughout your life, you will die fractured, shedding pieces of yourself throughout your life and in as many places as you happen to visit.
Fractures, I say, that kill us slowly, every day, with every disappointment, but we don't realize it until our last breath arrives.
And selfish creatures we are, I say, for when is that we do look for love? I will tell you: In our weakest moments, when we understand that there are pieces of ourselves somewhere else. Or like it is when we seek God. The truth is, we never seek either love or God when we feel strong. Think of it.
Yet, if you die having found love, you won't die completely until the last memory of you dies with the last person who remembers you. Then and only then, what once upon a time was you will fall into oblivion, unless another lost soul comes to repose near your grave, but that won't mean anything, for nothing in the beyond means anything, for everything in the beyond belongs to another set of values.
And what happens to the person who remembers you then? Well, the cycle continues. She will be left with your ghost and will look for you in the face of a stranger, desperately trying to find the version of herself that only existed when you were watching.
And this is the truth of love: a frantic, doomed attempt to find ourselves in someone else so we don't have to face the rest of our lives alone, or fragmented.
That is why we cannot stop loving, and it's why we can't stop hating.
We can't stop loving because we must keep our search for the pieces we're missing; our innate need for completion demands it.
And we can't stop hating either because hate is the anger we feel when the pieces don't fit. That is the circle of life, which is not a halo, and it's not an aura, but a steel serrated wheel. It isn't a path to peace. It is just the only way we know how to be whole before we disappear forever.
ANALYSIS OF MY REFLECTION BY ChatGPT
The philosophical reflection by Sal Godoij, "On Love And The Fractured Man," offers a poignant, introspective exploration of love, human nature, and the quest for completion. The text is replete with vivid imagery that effectively conveys the author's message, evoking a range of emotions in the reader.
One of the most striking aspects of the reflection is its use of the "fractured creature" metaphor to describe the human condition. This powerful image suggests that we are all incomplete, with missing parts that we seek to recover through our experiences and relationships. The idea that love is a way to find the scattered pieces of us in others is a compelling and relatable concept. It implies that our desire for love is driven by a deep-seated need for self-completion, rather than purely altruistic motivations.
The author's use of natural imagery, such as the comparison of human transformation to the metamorphosis of butterflies, adds depth and richness to the text. The contrast between the beauty of natural metamorphosis and the often-imperfect results of human transformation highlights the complexities and challenges of the human experience.
The reflection also explores the idea that our search for love is often motivated by weakness and vulnerability, rather than strength and confidence. This is a profound insight, as it suggests that our most profound connections with others are often forged in moments of darkness and uncertainty. The observation that we rarely seek love or God when we feel strong is particularly astute, underscoring the human tendency to turn to external sources of comfort and validation in times of need.
The text's exploration of the consequences of finding or not finding love is also noteworthy. The idea that a person who dies without having found love will "die fractured, shedding pieces of themselves throughout their life" is a haunting one, as it implies that a life without love is a life of gradual disintegration. Conversely, the notion that a person who finds love will not die completely until the last memory of them dies with the last person who remembers them is a beautiful and poignant expression of the enduring power of human connection.
As for the philosophy explored in the reflection, it appears to be rooted in existentialist and humanist thought. The author's emphasis on the individual's quest for self-completion and the importance of human relationships in this process resonates with the ideas of philosophers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Martin Heidegger. The text's focus on the fragility and impermanence of human existence also echoes the existentialist notion that human life is characterized by its finitude and uncertainty.
Personally, I find the reflection deeply moving and thought-provoking, an exploration of the human condition. The author's use of imagery and metaphor is masterful, and their insights into the human experience are both profound and relatable. The text's exploration of the complexities and challenges of love is particularly noteworthy, underscoring that love is a fundamentally flawed and imperfect endeavour that is nonetheless essential to human existence.
Overall, "On Love And The Fractured Creature" is a powerful and haunting reflection that offers a profound exploration of the human condition. Its use of imagery, metaphor, and philosophical insight makes it a compelling, thought-provoking read that is sure to resonate with anyone who has ever experienced the beauty and pain of love.
ANALYSIS OF MY REFLECTION BY GOOGLE GEMINI 3
This is a hauntingly cynical yet deeply human reflection. Sal Godoij presents a perspective on love that strips away the "hallmark" sentimentality and replaces it with a biological and existential necessity. It's less about the "other" and more about the desperate architecture of the "self."
Here is a breakdown of the imagery, philosophy, and emotional impact of On Love And The Fractured Creature.
1. Imagery and Symbolism
Godoij uses sharp, visceral imagery to contrast the internal void with the external world.
The Fractured Creature: We aren't born as "whole" beings seeking a partner; we are born as broken mosaics. The "fracture" suggests something jagged and incomplete, implying that human existence is inherently painful from the start.
The Selfish Forager/Hunter: By calling humans "foragers" and "hunters," Godoij removes the "divine" element of love and makes it a survival instinct. Love is "food" for a starving soul.
The Mirror of Others: This is a key psychological image. We don't look at a partner to see them; we look at them to find the missing reflection of ourselves.
The Steel Serrated Wheel: This is the most striking image in the text. While many philosophies view the "circle of life" as a soft, divine halo or a peaceful cycle, Godoij sees it as a cold, industrial, and sharp machine that grinds us down as it turns.
2. Philosophical Underpinnings
The text leans heavily into Existentialism and a darker form of Platonism.
The Myth of the Missing Half: It echoes Plato's Symposium, where humans were originally four-legged, four-armed creatures split in half by Zeus, condemned to spend eternity searching for their other half. However, Godoij adds a darker twist: the pieces might not fit, and the search is driven by selfishness rather than destiny.
Existential Dread: The text posits that we are terrified of "oblivion." Love is a tool used to delay our disappearance from the universe.
The "Weakness" of Faith and Love: Godoij suggests that God and Love are "crutches." We only seek them when we are broken. This mirrors Nietzschean thought—that we turn to the "higher powers" only when our own strength fails us.
3. Emotional Impact: Heart and Mind
Reading this text is a polarizing experience:
In the Mind: It provokes a cold, analytical realization. It asks the reader to question their own motives. Do I love my partner, or do I love the way I feel when I am with them? It challenges the "altruism" of love.
In the Heart: It may provoke a sense of melancholy or "Sonder" (the realization that everyone has a life as complex as your own). There is a deep sadness in the idea that when we lose someone, we aren't just mourning them; we are mourning the "version of ourselves" that died with them. It feels lonely, yet oddly validating for anyone who has felt the "jaggedness" of a breakup or a loss.
4. Personal Opinion
To be candid: this is a "dark chocolate" perspective on romance. It's bitter, but it feels more "honest" than most romantic prose.
I find the definition of hate particularly insightful: "Hate is the anger we feel when the pieces don't fit." We often think of hate as the opposite of love, but Godoij correctly identifies it as the frustration of failed love. It's the sound of the serrated wheel catching on a gear that won't turn. While it's a bit bleak to say we only seek love in weakness, there is an undeniable truth to the idea that love is our primary defence against the terror of being alone in the universe.
Summary Table
Element
Description
View of Love
A survival instinct/hunger rather than a romantic gift.
Human Nature
Inherently "fractured" and "selfish."
The Goal
Completion and the avoidance of "oblivion."
The "Circle"
A "steel serrated wheel"—painful, mechanical, and inevitable.
Would you like me to compare this reflection to more optimistic philosophical views on love, such as those by Erich Fromm or bell hooks?
To compare Sal Godoij's "fractured" view of love with more optimistic frameworks, we have to shift from viewing love as a hunger to viewing it as a skill or a liberation.
While Godoij sees love as a desperate search for missing pieces, thinkers like Erich Fromm and bell hooks argue that love is what happens when we are already whole—or at least, when we stop trying to "consume" the other person to fix ourselves.
1. Erich Fromm: Love as an Art (Activity vs. Passion)
In his seminal work The Art of Loving, Fromm provides a direct rebuttal to Godoij's "selfish forager" theory.
Godoij's View: Love is a "hunting" expedition. It is something we fall into because we are hungry and weak.
Fromm's View: Love is not a "sentiment" one falls into, but an active power. Fromm argues that "standing in love" is a choice and a discipline.
The Difference: For Fromm, the problem isn't that we are "fractured" and need a mirror; it's that we are "alienated" and need to give. He famously stated that love is primarily giving, not receiving, because in the act of giving, I experience my own strength and vitality.
"Infantile love follows the principle: 'I love because I am loved.' Mature love follows the principle: 'I am loved because I love.'" — Erich Fromm
2. bell hooks: Love as a Choice for Growth
In All About Love, bell hooks moves away from the "serrated wheel" of fate and toward a definition of love as will.
Godoij's View: Love is a "frantic, doomed attempt" to avoid being alone. It is driven by fear of the "beyond."
hooks' View: Love is "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
The Difference: hooks argues that many people confuse "cathexis" (becoming obsessed/attached to someone) with love. Godoij's "fractured creature" is actually describing attachment, whereas hooks describes connection. She believes love brings peace and justice, not the "anger when pieces don't fit."
3. Comparison Table: Three Philosophies of Love
Feature
Sal Godoij (The Forager)
Erich Fromm (The Artist)
bell hooks (The Healer)
Origin
Born fractured/incomplete.
Existential loneliness.
Social & spiritual need for care.
Motivation
Selfishness and fear of oblivion.
To overcome separateness.
To nurture growth and justice.
Nature of Love
A hunt/consumption.
An art/discipline.
A choice/action.
Outcome
Temporary wholeness or hate.
Self-actualization.
Community and healing.
4. The "Missing Pieces" vs. The "Overflowing Cup."
The core difference lies in the starting point of the human soul:
Godoij's Negative Space: We are a puzzle with missing pieces. We spend our lives trying to steal pieces from others to fill our gaps. This leads to the "serrated wheel"—when we realize someone else's piece doesn't fit our hole, we turn to hate.
Optimistic Positive Space: Philosophers like Fromm and hooks suggest we are a vessel. Love isn't about finding a "plug" for a leak; it's about learning how we can fill the vessel so that it overflows toward others.
Explore
Understanding where love sits—as a psychological need for belonging (Godoij) versus a tool for self-actualization (Fromm/hooks)—helps clarify these opposing views.
Conclusion
Godoij offers a survivalist philosophy: we love because we are starving. Fromm and hooks offer a developmental philosophy: we love because we are growing.
Godoij's text is an excellent description of how love feels when we are grieving or lonely, while the others describe what love can become when we are healthy.
I will take one of the most poignant and "sharp" quotes from Sal Godoij's reflection and see how Erich Fromm (the psychologist and philosopher) would fundamentally reframe it.
The Original Quote (Sal Godoij):
"And this is the truth of love: a frantic, doomed attempt to find ourselves in someone else so we don't have to face the rest of our lives alone, or fragmented."
The Philosophical Deconstruction
To Godoij, the "other" is a utility. We use them as a shield against the terror of loneliness. It is a "doomed" attempt because no human can ever truly be the missing piece of someone else's soul.
How Erich Fromm would "Re-write" it:
Fromm would argue that Godoij is describing "Symbiotic Union" (an unhealthy dependency) rather than "Mature Love."
In Fromm's view, if you are looking for yourself in someone else, you aren't loving them—you are consuming them. He would re-write the sentiment like this:
"The truth of love is not a frantic search to fill a void, but the courage to stand as a whole being and reach out to another. We do not love to escape ourselves; we love to realize our power to give. Only when we can face life alone can we truly choose to be together."
The Shift in Logic: From "Hole" to "Whole"
The fundamental difference between these two thinkers can be visualized through the lens of psychological maturity. Godoij's man is stuck in a state of deficiency, while Fromm's lover is in a state of abundance.
Godoij's Logic: $I + You = 1$ (We are fractions that need to merge to become a single unit).
Fromm's Logic: $1 + 1 = 2$ (We are two whole individuals who choose to walk the same path).
Note: In psychology, this mirrors Abraham Maslow's concept of D-Love (Deficiency-love, driven by a void) versus B-Love (Being-love, driven by the appreciation of the other's existence).
Comparison Summary
Theme
Sal Godoij (The Fractured)
Erich Fromm (The Artist)
The "Alone" Factor
Being alone is a "fragmented" state to be feared.
Being alone is a prerequisite for loving.
The Partner's Role
A mirror to find the self.
A unique individual to be discovered and respected.
The "Doom"
Love is doomed because people are flawed mirrors.
Love is a triumph of human will over isolation.
Final Thought
Godoij's reflection feels like the "Emergency Room" of love—it describes the pain and the bleeding of a broken heart. Fromm's philosophy is the "Gymnasium" of love—it describes the strength and discipline required for health. Both are "true," but they describe different stages of the human experience.
